CHWA Stories: Unlocking Possibilities by Tina Blaber

How has engaging with arts/culture/heritage improved your life?

Engaging with the creative arts – mainly with music – has literally transformed my life. It is something I should always have done, if I had known it was possible, understood myself better and had the confidence and opportunities when I was younger! I grew up in a very rural location so transport and accessibility were big issues. I left school to work in an office job, turning down places at colleges (including an Art College!) because this seemed a ‘safe’ bet. I think I was just too scared to up-root from my village and live-in at college (which would have been necessary due to the transport links).

I married young and had two wonderful children and basically kept treading the same pathways through administration and IT based jobs to pay the bills and keep a home together. These weren’t particularly enjoyable, but I had an aptitude for them so I just accepted that’s what working life just has to be.

I became depressed, a condition that was significantly exacerbated by a hysterectomy when I was only 30, which triggered the early menopause. Who knows anything about that at 30 (and particularly back in the 1990’s as literally, no-one talked about it!).  I thought was going mad. I couldn’t concentrate, had terrible brain fog, developed breathing difficulties and was literally exhausted. Coinciding with a marriage breakdown, several house moves, more studies and job promotions, I broke down in 2005.  This mental breakdown, and accompanying therapy sessions, brought back some issues from childhood which needed to be worked through as part of my recovery (yeah, ‘me too’).

I recall sitting at home, following a counselling session, thinking about who I was when I was little. What did I like doing? What did I enjoy? Who was I before ‘life got in the way’? I remembered I still had a guitar my mother bought me when I was 10. I was desperate to learn the guitar at the time, inspired by a teacher at primary school. I loved playing music! My mother, despite being a single parent and not having much money to spare, had also paid for piano lessons. My long-term partner at the time was tremendously encouraging, himself also playing guitar a little.

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